6:08 am...

 **I wrote this post yesterday when I woke up...I just never posted it... I am hoping that it inspires thought, not anger or fighting or arguing...Please be kind in any comments you feel to post. **

It is 6:08 am.  Normally I would be fighting to go back to sleep because miraculously the sound machine i got yesterday worked. And Timothy did not wake up when Justin left 15  or so minutes ago...normally, I would be enjoying the extra sleep.  But normally, I don't have a dream that throws my mind into a particular political conversation more than anything ever has. 

I was on the phone with Justin.  He was telling me he was on his way home and it was early, the girls were not home yet. I am not sure about Collin, I think he was gone, but something tells me he was sitting on the couch.  I went to check on Timothy who had been napping.  His blinds were open, which wasn't an unusual thing apparently. He was still asleep, but beginning to stir.  So I walked into his room.  At the back of the room, on the wall his crib was on, was a large picture window.  As I approached his crib his eyes opened and he saw me and smiled his huge grin.  I put my arms in the crib and picked him up and saw a man walk to the window.  It looked like he was doing some work on the side of the house and told me he needed the Internet turned off.  For some reason,I didn't see this as abnormal, and walked out of the room and over to the computer and began turning it off.  The computer desk was on  a wall directly in front of and about 20 steps from the front door, which had a screen on it.  The door itself was open, the screen door was closed.  I, holding Timothy, turned around to go out and let him know it was off and this man was standing in my living room.  He had his hand behind his back, and all of a sudden slowly started pulling it out to reveal a very small revolver. 

This is almost exactly like the gun I saw in my dream,
only the handle looked more brown. I did a search after writing this
and found this image. I don't recall seeing it before.

It reminded me of one a woman would carry, no offense.  Just small, short barrel.  It was silver and had some wood on the handle, but it was seriously only about 3 inches long total.  I stepped back and dropped backwards because I tripped on something.  The reason I felt like Collin must have been on the couch was I thought in the dream that I needed to go protect him.  But as I was falling back, timothy in my arms, I saw the faintest trace of blue scrubs running into the office next to the front door.  At that moment I knew what was coming next and didn't sleep through the rest.  I woke up.  I knew that Justin came out of the office, having called police and pulled his rifle out of the safe and pointed it at the mans back.  He told him "get your gun off my wife or I will shoot you in the back of the head."

I have stayed out of the political discussion over guns.  I am not a huge fan of guns in my home.  My mother never liked guns.  There were no guns in the house.  My brothers didn't even get toy guns growing up.   My mom just didn't like guns.  I just grew up feeling like there was no place for them in my home.  Justin, however, grew up in a home where guns were there.  His dad was in a career where he came home nightly and Justin watched him take off his jacket and his gun.  Guns were always normal for Justin.  You can probably see why it took me 10+ years to feel like I could be okay with him having a gun.  Not that he needed my permission, but because he is Justin, he wouldn't get one until I was okay with it.  He respected my feelings towards guns in my home. 

I think shooting guns in a protected situation, like gun ranges, is a blast.  There is something about hitting a target that far away that is just fun.  In. A. Controlled. Environment.  Guns at home felt different to me.  I don't know that I could ever shoot an intruder in my home.  But since I have never been, and I offer heartfelt prayers that I never will be, put into that situation, I of course don't know how I would actually react.  I would hope that in my drive to protect my children I would be willing to shoot someone trying to hurt me or them.  Saving the lives in my family would be worth that right?

I have always had very mixed feeling about the current gun control debates.  While I believe that there needs to be regulation on who gets guns, I do not believe that there should be regulation on which type of gun a STABLE individual can choose to us to protect his family.  I don't feel like there needs to be regulation on ammunition that you can buy. I do however, feel like there needs to be ways to determine who can and can't buy weapons.  Thorough background checks are definitively a start.  But that isn't going to take care of everything.  I don't know maybe mental health evaluation before you can buy a gun, like a drivers Ed course before you can drive.  You have to be cleared by a licensed professional not to be unstable.  But that puts the decision into one or two types of professionals and that doesn't seem fair to me.  But there has to be a way that mentally ill people cannot purchase weapons. 

Now that all being said, I think it is important to realize that is ISN'T guns that are the problem.  It's guns in the hands of unstable people that cause massacres like Columbine, Newtown, Denver theaters and so on.  Those people were sick. I don't mean just that it was sick what they did.  They were mentally sick, if they thought their only solution was to grab a gun and shoot.  They were sick. 

In my dream, our 2nd amendment right to bear arms, very likely saved my life.  Because Justin came home at the exact moment this man was walking, uninvited, into my home.  Because Justin saw this man with a gun in the back of his pants.  Because Justin had a gun, in a locked safe. Because Justin knew what was necessary to save his family, I was saved.  Was it a dream? Yes, thank goodness.  Will it happen in my life, that I will stand face to face with an intruder holding a gun to my face? I hope and pray that it never does. But will I welcome having my husband walk in the door and hold a gun to this guys head to save my life? Absolutely. Would I welcome a man, who is  holding a gun out at me, get shot to protect my family? He shouldn't have come in my home to begin with.  It is my home, where my children should feel the safest.  It is my home, where I should not have to worry if I am going to live for one more day to kiss my husband and children.  It is my home, where I should be able to protect myself from people who should not be there.  It is my home, where I, a law biding, mentally healthy, individual, have a government given right added to the constitution as part of the states stipulations to ratify it.  This right was not just a random thing that they decided to throw in.  Back at Farnsworth Elementary in Chicago, IL; I remember learning about the constitution.  They taught us that the Bill of Rights was added because the 13 colonies were not willing to accept the constitution without those things added in.  You cannot now take those rights away without the taking that vote to the people.  This is not a right that should be voted on by 4 or 5 individuals lucky enough to gain enough votes in their states elections.  This should be a national vote, where the true voice of the people should be heard.  Our nation wouldn't be if it wasn't for the Bill of Rights.  Government cannot take away something so important to our nations history.  We will fail, our country will fall. 

When I was in 6th grade (about 1992), there was a girl who brought a knife to school.  She showed it to us at the end of one class, before we moved to another one.  "Sh, don't tell anyone" she said.  She put it back in her backpack and went on with her day.  I was a goody goody back then and didn't feel like I could not tell anyone, so while waiting in line outside Mrs. Hay's class, I walked up to the front of the line and told the student teacher that I needed to talk to her.  We went in the room and I told her about it.  She said thank you and went about her day.  I don't know what was going on behind the scenes.  After lunch, I went to the bathroom and was drying my hands when this girl came into the bathroom knife in hand, backed me into the corner and held the knife to my neck.  She told me she knew that I was the one that told and I was going to get it.  As she finished talking, a teacher walked in.  I never saw this girl again.  She was taken to the office, and something was done.  I don't know what it was, and frankly I don't care.  My life was in danger and she was gone now. 

There have always been unstable individuals in our world.  There has always been bullies.  There have always been people who are willing to hurt others to make themselves feel better.  Unfortunately there probably always will be.  But our rights to protect our family and our lives cannot be taken away because of instability of a few.  Lets be better teachers (parents as teachers) of the children in our lives and teach them respect and responsibility for weapons.  Lets be better teachers of the children in our lives and help them learn how to deal with anger, resentment, depression, and whatever else can be blamed.  Lets teach the children in our lives what it means to "love thy neighbor as thyself." (Matthew 22:39) And lets teach them what it actually means to love thyself. Lets not put the burden on the guns, lets put the burden on us as a society that is so willing to let these mentally unstable people through the cracks.