Pseduotumor Cerebri, IIH

So I thought I should post an update on the medical issues that I have been faced with... 

On Valentine's Day, 2014, I went in for a lumbar puncture. I was nervous for the results.  Slightly worried that it would be obvious just from the appearance that something major was wrong and I would be sent off to the hospital, admitted immediately, no time to take care of things with the kids or anything. It was a ridiculous fear. I wasn't worried about the procedure at all. Just the results of the procedure. 

Justin met me at the Neurologists office that day. He was lucky enough to get finished with his clinic early enough to meet me for my noon arrival time.  I was so glad that he was there.  After taking my vitals, I was eventually led into the room where the procedure would take place.  The doctor came in, explained how everything would go, and then left the room while I changed.  It was a nearly painless process.  The worst of it was the local anesthetic they used to numb my back before inserting the giant needle into my spinal cavity... It was an odd feeling when it went it. I didn't feel pain, but I could feel when it went into in... The procedure took about 45 minutes.  The nurse held my legs, the doctor did her job and Justin sat across the room, doing who knows what, I couldn't even see him. As they were watching the dial go up and up and up, they were preparing to put an additional meter on, because my pressure was so much higher than normal.  But it eventually stopped and they didn't need to switch meters. Turned out the pressure in my Cerebral Spinal Fluid (CSF) was at 33, and normal is 20-25.  She said it is really high and that I should definitely start the medication to lower it. She was actually really surprised that I hadn't had any blurry vision from the optic nerve swelling.  My diagnosis was confirmed (Pseudotumor Cerebri OR Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension) at that point and I finally had answers.  (though they were running tests on my CSF just to make sure there was no infection.) She showed me my CSF in the vials after she took it out.  It was completely clear.  Looked like water in the vials... They took about 5 vials I think out to run all their tests. I had to stay laying down for 45 minutes on the table in the office after wards. Then she said I had to spend as much time as possible laying flat for the next 24 hours. (So much for Valentine's day).

As I left the office, I got a call from my Neuro-Ophthalmologist who told me about the results and asked me to begin taking the medication on Sunday morning as long as I didn't have a spinal headache.  So I came home, and I laid on the couch the entire afternoon, evening and most of the next day.  I honestly have no clue how people on bedrest manage for more than a day.  I was going insane by the end of 3 hours! But I listened and with the exception of meals, bathroom trips and an hour sitting in the recliner to give my hip a break, I stayed laying down.  Sunday morning I woke up to hear Jaicie had been throwing up all night (how did I sleep through that, poor girl managed it all by herself), news of a friends baby in the hospital - which Justin rushed off to help, and me - dizzy if I sat up, and light headed and starting a new medication, which I couldn't drive on. YAY Me!  SO the kids and I stayed home from church. Justin visited our friend and their baby in the hospital. Jaicie slept most of the day and the other three didn't full understand why I was still laying down.

Monday morning I woke up to the absolutely worst headache of my life.  When they told me I would have the worst headache of my life after my spinal tap, this is what I expected - when it never came Saturday and Sunday I thought I had escaped it... If I lifted my head off the pillow it hurt more.  II spent the majority of the day laying down. But when I felt a little better, I decided to run a quick trip to the store and to pick up Collin's new mattress.  I needed some caffeine to take for the headache, because I hear my medication makes carbonation taste gross. I shouldn't have gone out, the headache was horrendous after the sun hit my face. But I was able to get done what I needed. Then I came home and laid back down and stayed the way the rest of the day (the kids were out of school that day) Tuesday the headache let up a little, but it was still awful, wednesday it was horrendous again.  I went in for my followup appointment with my Neuro-ophthalmolgist and found out a couple things: 1. the medicine is working, the swelling of my optic nerves has gone down. 2. the medication shouldn't be casuing my headaches - so i needed to go off the meds to make sure I didn't have a spinal leak (cause if I did, lowering it would make it worse and worse, not a good idea). 3. that nothing else is wrong with me, my brain just produces too much CSF and the medication will help that and the swelling will go down. 

So Wednesday night I skipped my meds, Thursday I had a headache, but nothing too horrible. Friday and Saturday I went the whole day with nearly no headache. It was delightful. Saturday evening I restarted the medication, but opted for a gradual build up to the regular dose.  Started with 1 pill 2 times a day. Today I will go up to 1 pill in the morning and 2 at night and Thursday I will go up to 2 pills 2 times a day. Hopefully, this will make some of the side affects (read headaches) stay away! 

So what are the side affects:  1. well, the headaches are listed as a side affect, so far since restarting the headaches I have only had very minor aches, nothing that keeps me down. 2. The tingling!  AHHH the tingling is AWFUL! Imagine your hands, feet and face all falling asleep at the same time and then the tingling starts as they are trying to wake up...you know the tingling I am talking about right? The pins and needles, prickley feeling that everyone hates!  Well that happens all the time to me.  Yesterday one of my feet was tingling so bad that it brought tears to my eyes.  Am I a baby, maybe, but it was truly an awful feeling.  I heard that potassium can help, but I HATE bananas. So I am attempting to drink LOTS of water, because dehydration can contribute to it.  3. Less water retention - who can argue with that...I am retaining less water, which hopefully will help with my weight loss... who knows! 4. Bad taste of carbonation. Um, I am too scared to find out how it tastes, because I want to be able to stomach the taste of it someday when I get off this medication.5. UPset Stomach... I have noticed the nausea feeling a lot lately, and I hate it. But it isn't so bad that I can't deal with it.  Just annoying.

No what it the long term plan... well, I go back in 3 months for a followup with the Neuro Ophtho. I will stay on the medication for the time being. I will continue to work hard to loose weight (which should contribute to lessening of the symptoms). The plan is that I will not always be on the medication. That we will get everything under control now and I should be able to stop taking it. I cannot under ANY circumstances get pregnant (darn, wasn't planning on that anyway) because the medication causes harm to the baby. I will go forward doing everything I can to get myself better, dealing with the side effects and hoping that my 14 pound weight loss thus far will continue and my brain will benefit from that. It has all been a lot to take in.  But I think we are on the trail to getting it taken care of. And it gives me a really good excuse to work harder...and maybe buy an elliptical or treadmill or something I can use to exercise at home! :)

Worries, Fears and Blessings.

There is something wonderful in my blog posting today.  Over the past couple weeks I have been filled with dread, fear and worrying.  About 2 1/2 weeks ago, my optometrist told me that he was concerned about some swelling of my optic nerve. He said it was caused by extra pressure in my brain and he really wanted me to go in and have it looked at by a specialist.  He told me he was worried I may have what's called PseudoTumor Cerebri.  PseudoTumor is a false tumor that mimics the symptoms of a brain tumor.  I have had migraines, dizziness and numbness for months this solidified any thoughts as to where those may be coming from. Regardless of whether or not there were other explanations for the symptoms, now I had a doctor telling me that these symptoms could all be connected and it could be a PseudoTumor...but then it occurred to me that a false tumor, mimicking the symptoms of a normal tumor...hold on now, I have the symptoms of a brain tumor.  It was a very difficult and emotional couple of weeks for me.  I fretted mostly over how I would tell my father and siblings if there was a brain tumor.  My poor father lost his mother to a brain tumor, his wife to cancer, and his father to a whole slew of problems. I couldn't bare the thought of having to tell him or any of my siblings that I might have a brain tumor...so I didn't tell them anything.  I was so scared and worried about how much it would devastate all of them if that is what the doctor said.  I just couldn't imagine what would happen. I even dreamed up a trip to Vegas to sit down with my dad and 2 of my brothers to give them the news face to face...under the guise of just flying in cause i missed them. (guess I can never use that one huh).  I figured out how I would get my dad there and how how I would work it all out...I just had to figure everything out, just in case.  I couldn't very well tell them something that big over the phone...

It is very difficult to lay in a small tub with your head
padded so it doesn't move for over an hour... just in
case you were wondering. 

So that's been my last 2 1/2 weeks.  Yesterday I went to my appointment with the specialist.  Dr. Patel is a Neuro Ophthalmologist with the Dean McGee Eye Institute at OU.  He did my exam and looked at my eyes and talked to me about my symptoms... and then he said, okay, I need you to get an MRI immediately, today if at all possible and then we will schedule you for a spinal tap and then start you on medication.  The MRI was to rule out a brain tumor. The spinal tap is to test the pressure and screen the cerebral spinal fluid in my brain... YAY for me.  I think it was the urgency he sent me for an MRI that really got me even more freaked out.  I was pretty convinced between about noon yesterday and 8 am this morning that I had a brain tumor.  Justin wasn't. He seemed pretty sure I was fine. Regardless of my worries yesterday, I knew that everything would be okay, no matter what the results were of the MRI. I told a friend that regardless of what I found out, I was going to be okay.  We would work through whatever we found out and everything would be okay.

So when the phone rang this morning and the Caller ID read an OU number I tried to stay calm...but I wasn't at all... The doctors secretary said: Ms Clayton Dr. Patel would like to speak with you do you have a minute to talk with him now.  I said yes and she said okay, just a minute.  Then Dr. Patel picked up the phone and told me he got the results and the everything came back normal.  He then went into the explanation of what comes next, the spinal tap getting scheduled, a follow up downtown and medication started after the spinal tap.  It didn't matter much to me what he said after the MRI was normal. My brain is good!  I don't have a brain tumor.  I don't have to figure out how to tell my family that.  Telling them it was normal would be easy.  I took a few deep breathes and listened to all the doctors instructions and then send Justin a text to let him know it was clear.  "Told ya" was what he had to say. 

As I shared the good news with the people I needed to share it with it was reassuring to realize that I had a long list of people to notify, because it meant that I had a lot of people that cared for me.  And had it been the worst case scenario, I knew I would have been well taken care of.  It is amazing to me the caliber of friends I have here in OKC and every where that were concerned with what was going on.  I am so glad to know that i have amazing people around me.  If I don't get to live close to my family, I am so grateful that I am blessed with amazing people that love and care about me. Those who thought about me and prayed for me and watched my kid most of the day yesterday and ran me all over town to doctors appointments and sent me messages by text and email to let me know they were thinking about me.  I have truly amazing friends around me, so thank you to you all.

And just for comedic affect... here is an awesome clip sharing my sentiments exactly!



So rest assured... IT'S NOT A TOOMAH AT ALL!!!!

Incidentally, I should explain the actual results as we know them right now. I do have swollen optic Nerves.  As of right now the assumption is that I have Pseudotumor Cerebri. We will not know that for sure until AFTER the spinal tap which as of right now isn't officially scheduled yet. At the spinal tap they will measure the pressure in my brain and spinal cord as well as run some other tests on the actual cerebral spinal fluid. They will test for meningitis and other infections that could cause increased pressure (Just to make sure).  There is still not a ton known about what I have, but like I said the assumption is Pseudotumor Cerebri (PTC).  Once I have the spinal tap I will begin taking a medication used to treat Glaucoma, which helps to reduce the production cerebral spinal fluid.  This will decrease the pressure.  Best of all, one of the best ways to treat PTC is the loose weight if you are overweight.  Since I am 6 pounds down since starting weight watchers last week, I am counting myself on the right track for it all.  Its amazing what random extra 20 pounds can do to your brain!  Glad to be on the right track there. 

Its all a long drawn out explanation and a long drawn out process of figuring it all out, but I have a few extra blessings to count today and I am so glad to be able to count them. Thanks to anyone who thought about me, prayed for me, whether or not you know what was going on.  Thanks to you all!  And thanks to everyone that helped me yesterday with various things throughout the day!

A few do my favorite things--- thanksgiving edition

I have an innumerable amount of things to be thankful for and only a few minutes to write this post tonight.  So I will highlight some of my favorites.  

#1 my husband

Justin is everything to me.  He is such a support to me.  I would be lost without him.  He fell into my life nearly 12 years ago and has changed me for the better ever since.  I love him and am thankful for the life, love and family he has given me.  Justin, you make me look good. You are my much better half and I love you more than I could ever put into words.  I love you forever. 

#2 my children

Did you know that motherhood (parenthood in general) is really hard.  It one of my biggest challenges I have ever faced.  Regardless of the hurdles we have to cross, sometimes daily, my children are 4 of the best things that ever happened to me (Justin being the first).  They bring so much adventure into my life.  While there may be difficult days where I struggle to remember what I love about this job, it is and always will be my favorite job.  They are the light in my days, they put smiles on my face, make me laugh, make me cry, make me love them more and more every day.  Jaicie, Felicity, Collin and Timothy: I cannot imagine a world in which you didn't exist.  I can't even Hardly remember a time when I didn't get to have you guys call me mom.  I love you more than life and more than you will ever know, until at least the time you have your own kids call you mom and dad. I love you for always!

#3 our parents

Justin and I have both been through the loss of a parent.  Mom died 8 years ago next spring and Justin's dad died 2 years ago this January.  But for both of us the relationships that we had and have with both our parents and our in-laws have always been treasured.  I miss my mom more everyday. I miss Justin's dad everyday. Not in the same way as my mom, but still miss him dearly.  

My dad is an amazing man.  He has been through so much in his life and been such an example to me of what I want my kids to have from me.  From loosing his mother, to loosing my mother and loosing his father and every battle in between and since he has always been strong in heart to the things that matter most.  I love you daddy, thanks me being you! 

My mother in law is another exemplary woman.  She lost her mom at a young age and has been such a sweet and wonderful support through loosing my mom.  She has lifted me when I needed lifting, made me laugh when I needed to, and let me cry to her when I couldn't bear to let anyone else know I was crying.  She is a rock in my life and I am so grateful, that if Heavenly Father needed to take my mom home too early, that he put another woman in my life that I could call mom and not feel guilty.  She isn't my mother, but she is a mom to me.  Thank Maureen, I love you and am so grateful for you in my life. 

#4 our siblings

Between Justin and I we have 9 living siblings, all of which have married and had children.  So 9 siblings, 9 spouses (or ex spouses), and 39 combined nieces and nephews (though it is possible my math is wrong, somewhere around there though.) All of which have had an influence in our lives.  I love each of you and am so glad to have you as part of my life.  So:Michelle, Steven, Kevin, Jeffrey, Paul, Taft, Shane, Brett and Phillip, thank you for being who you are and for being a part of our lives.  Sorry we don't talk more often but we love you and your families.  Keep up the good work and keep moving forward!  

#5 My friends

I would be lost without the dear friends I have in my life.  I sincerely hope that you know who you are because if I start going through all the ways my dear friends have touched my life, I may never be able to stop.  Too the friends who drop everything and help with my kids, bring me dinner when I am sick, watch my dog when we go out of town, listen to me talk, let me listen to you talk, let me watch your kids, let me help when I can, and bring me random fudge and other treats...and to all the ones my brain can't think of, thank you for being you and being examples of good friends in my life so when my kids look to me to see my friends they can see what true friends are.  I love you all dearly, you know who you are!

#6 My health

Some of you might look at that as a joke... Especially if we have talked in the past 6 weeks...6 weeks I have been sick now...ugh!  From a cold, to bronchitis to pleurisy to another cold and migraines and coughing and all the runny noses, my health has not and is not up to par right now.  But I know it will get better and fairly soon.  I watched my mother die of cancer, I heard of a friend in Texas who died of cancer today, my colds and upper respiratory infections and afflictions are hardly anything compared...I am so grateful for the health that I do have even on the days where I feel like I can't get out of bed and might just die... I know that it will get better, maybe not tomorrow, but someday soon.  I love my health. ...most of the time ;)

#7 the Gospel of Jesus Christ

My life is what it is because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  What glorious things I have in my life.  The knowledge of eternal families and the fact that I can see my mom again when I die makes loosing her that much easier.  Jesus Christ came and lived a perfect life to give us an example of who we should be and what we can become.  And he gave his life for me so that I have the opportunity to seek forgiveness and return and live with him and Heavenly Father again,  How wonderful it is to know why I am here and where I am going.  I count the blessings I have gained from my belief in Jesus Christ on a daily basis.  They are innumerable.  I love the gospel, and I love my Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you! 

#8 the simple bear necessities of life

Can't you just hear Baloo singing that from the Jungle Book.  Its fun, makes me want to sing! There are so many things I take for granted in my daily life and I would be lost without the them.  I am grateful for all the simple things in life that make my life a little easier.  

I thought I could do 10, but I think my 8 favorite things can be enough.  Life is what is because we make it! I am so grateful for the life I have been given.  Even with all the hurdles we cross in every relationship we go through, life is a matter of major importance and I am so glad to be enjoying it. My few minutes has turned late, but I am so thankful for everything listed above and so much more,  thank you to you all for being a part of my life.  You have added to my life as a sculptor adds to a statue (thanks Steve for that).  You have each given me a little more shape to who I am and I thank you for that. (Though maybe a little less shapely next time would be good... I kid, I kid... ) 

My Felicity

This is my Fel-lump... My Felicity... My most spirited, strong-willed child, whom I love and adore! I wanted to take a minute and make sure you all know how much she means to me. 

Today when Felicity came home from school she helped me a lot. I was battling some of my pain from skipping my anti-inflammatories for my pleurisy and needed a few minutes to let my meds kick in. Felicity sweetly helped Collin stay happy, she watched Timothy while I went in my room for a few minutes. Then she took Collin in his room and they read The Butter Battle Book by Dr Seuss together. She set a timer so they would know if they read their whole 20 minutes. Then she helped him get onto the computer to play some games. 

I realized today that I haven't bragged enough about my fel-lump. She really is an amazing little girl and I am so pleased to call her my daughter. 

Felicity you bring so much joy into my life and I love you more a then I could ever say. Though we have out hurdles to cross we will do it together teaching each other new things as we jump! You are amazing my girl. Love you! 

Timothy at 15 months

I caught this picture yesterday while he was watching the snow.
It really captured who Timothy is.

 My sweet little guy Timothy turned 15 months yesterday.  It is hard to believe how quickly he is growing up.  Today we took him in for his 15 month check up.  He is weighing in at 22 pounds even and 31.75 inches long.  His weight landed him right at the 39th percentile, which is pretty dead on for what he has been all along.  His height dropped him at the 69th percentile which was a drop down from the 85th he has been at in the past.  Clearly he has some growing to do to catch himself up.  But I am sure he will hit that growth spurt pretty quickly.

He has changed so much over the past 15 months, even just in the past 3 months. He has started walking, though he still seems to prefer dropping down and crawling super fast.  He is a climber.  This is a first for us.  None of our others have ever really cared to climb.  They were happy right at their level. But Timothy things climbing takes him to a whole new world, which lets be honest, it does!  He climbs onto the couch, chairs, tables, the piano, beds, bunk bed ladder, really if it is above him he is going to figure out how to get onto it.  It makes for an adventure and never leaving him alone...ever...at all...

He has started trying to talk a lot.  He says the typical mom and dad, but also likes to throw out random other words, like: more, dog, jaicie, bye bye, and many others, but most of the others don't sound anything like the word he is trying to say...but you can tell that it is a different item.  Jaicie is a cute one though, it sounds nothing like Jaicie, but when he sees her come into the room he yells for her and makes the same group of sounds every time. It is kind of a precious little thing.  He loves his big sisters and big brother.  They are 3 of his 5 favorite people! :)

He has taken to screaming lately.  If he doesn't get his way he screams at the top of his lungs.  It is one of the worst sounds my ears could hear.  Its awful.  I hate it but I haven't figured out how to combat it yet.  Hopefully I will figure that out soon.

But Timothy really is quite a light in our home.  And I am so glad to have him as part of our family.  Really how could you not love that cute little face! :)

And because everyone needs a good reason to laugh in life...here is one of my favorite sounds out of Timothy's mouth.

And just for good measure, here is a video of one of Timothy's recent fits he threw because Justin walked past him and didn't pick him up.

Awesome

I hate the kids are mean to each other.  I hate the kids were mean to me when I was growing up. But even more I hate the kids are mean to my kids.  

Jaicie loves school. She loves Science and Math. She thinks the world is an amazing place and sees the best in everyone around her. She loves homework and getting to do research. She loves to read and write and even has a poem being published from the National Library of Poetry contest. She's awesome!

And kids make fun of her for that.  She is picked on and teased and has had a lot of discouraging times. But when she saw a girl at school crying because others were making fun of her today, she sat down next to hear and said this: "You just have to tell them I believe in my Awesomeness. If don't think I am awesome, that is your problem and you have to deal with it."

It is quite possible it will bring more teasing, but she doesn't care anymore.  And I am happy about that.  

Because the world is cruel and if we let every thing that people say or do to or about us defeat us then we are letting them win.  Lets stand up for our Individual Awesomeness and be WHOEVER we want to be. And when someone thinks less of you than awesome... just tell them: 

then, walk away and let them figure out how to deal with it.  Because the world is full of people who are out to defeat you.  Why do we let them win!  

So go forth and BELIEVE IN YOUR AWESOMENESS!

Love her and the example she is to her siblings.

Parenting with Meekness and Humility

This morning I awoke to one child yelling at another...again... It is often the same child yelling at the same child day after day. This child is a very tender spirit. This child has a heart big enough to fill a room. He/She has determination like no child I have known. He/She also has a temper like few I have ever known.

I have long thought that I inherited the worst aspects of my parents tempers... And I say that with a heart full of love for both my parents.  I have a great respect for both of them, and the way they controlled their tempers so often...especially with me as a child.  My dad, if I remember correctly, would get angry really quick, you'd get in trouble and then it would be over.  My mom was more the type to be upset about something, let it stew inside for a LONG while and then get really mad and stay that way for a while.  I have a tendency to be a bit of both.  I get angry really fast and little things and then stay angry over them for a while...far too long.  I don't let it stew and then get mad like mom, but I also don't let it go like dad.  I tested my parents tempers often.  I fought with my brothers often... EXTREMELY OFTEN.  I was not an easy child in any way shape or form.

So I know very well where this child gets their temper from.  And I also know how difficult it is to learn to manage. He/She has a long road of learning ahead.  I am still trying to learn how to control it...unfortunately, my children are learning their temper controls from me... And I realize how bad that is and how much it needs to change.

Anyway, back to bickering children.  This child of mine has very strong feelings towards this sibling.  I will say completely honestly that there are times when I fear this child hates his/her sibling.  That worries me and this morning, I realized that I needed help helping this child to love their sibling. To treat their sibling with respect and kindness.  It isn't an easy task to teach, and I have clearly not been doing it will on my own.  So this morning, I sent Justin a message that said: "Can you ponder on things we can do to change teh relationship (child a) has with (child b). (Child a) is so mean to (child b)."  Then I got down on my knees and asked in prayer for help in teaching child A the things that i clearly have not done.  I prayed for help in teaching child a to control tempers, show love. But I also prayed for help in bettering myself as a parent so I can be a better example for child a.

This morning after my prayer was a much different morning than I usually have.  While the kids were their usual selves, I wasn't.  I kept a calm tone with them, I walked into Child A's room and just asked if I could give him/her a hug. And give a big long hug that was needed.  I didn't yell at the kids all morning.  I calmly (or at least more calmly) reminded them to get shoes and socks on. I kept my cool and stayed much calmer (most of the time).  While I didn't have a perfect morning, it was better.

Then I got in the car because I had an errand to run.  I decided that I wanted to listen to some music from my phone.  So I plugged it in and as I was about to touch the music app, I thought how nice it would be to listen to one of the conference talks from our church general conference last month. So I opened up the LDS Gospel App, opened up the conference talks and opened up a talk, one I didn't remember hearing during conference (which was common since I was in a house with 8 kids). I started the talk and was so deeply humbled by the obvious answers to my prayers, in such a quick succession.  The talk I listed to was entitled: Be Meek and Lowly of Heart by Elder Ulisses Soares.  This talk had a lot of gems in it that really stood out to me.  Here are just a few:

1. "Being meek does not mean weakness, but it does mean behaving with goodness and kindness, showing strength, serenity, healthy self-worth, and self-control."

 2. "We are blessed to be born with the seed of meekness in our hearts. We need to understand that it is not possible to grow and develop that seed in the twinkling of an eye but rather through the process of time. Christ asks us to “take up [our] cross daily,” meaning that it must be a constant focus and desire.

President Lorenzo Snow, the fifth prophet of our dispensation, taught, “It is our duty to try to be perfect, … to improve each day, and look upon our course last week and do things better this week; do things better today than we did them yesterday.” So the first step to becoming meek is to improve day by day. Each day we need to try to be better than the previous as we move forward through this process.

President Snow added:

“We have our little follies and our weaknesses; we should try to overcome them as fast as possible, and … should [instill] this feeling in the hearts of our children … that they may learn to [behave] properly before Him under all circumstances.

“If the husband can live with his wife one day without quarrelling or without treating anyone unkindly or without grieving the Spirit of God … ; he is so far perfect. Then let him try to be the same the next day. But supposing he should fail in this his next day’s attempt, that is no reason why he should not succeed in doing so the third day.”

 3.  "At these moments and in other difficult situations, we must learn to control our temper and convey our feelings with patience and gentle persuasion. This is most important within our homes and within our relationships with our eternal companions. During the 31 years I’ve been married to my sweetheart, she has often given me gentle reminders of this as we have faced life’s unsettling challenges."

4. "By controlling our reactions, being calm and temperate, and avoiding contention, we will begin to qualify for the gift of meekness."

And this one may be my favorite:

5."Christ faced extreme physical and spiritual suffering, giving us the opportunity to change our spiritual character and become meek like Him.

"I bear my witness that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I testify to you that, thanks to His love, it is possible to change. It is possible to leave our weaknesses behind. It is possible to reject the evil influences in our lives, control our anger, become meek, and develop the attributes of our Savior. He showed us the way. He gave us the perfect example and commanded each one of us to become as He is. His invitation to us is to follow Him, follow His example, and become like Him"

There are a lot of obstacles that we face as parents.  Only one of them is the obstacle of learning how to do the job the best way we can.  But as Elder Soares stated, it is possible to change.  One of my MANY, MANY weaknesses is controlling my temper and it is something that I have been working hard to leave behind.  Meekness and Humility are the gifts I want to qualify to be blessed with.  I have often questioned what meekness is.   And this talk seems to do a good job at teaching me.  I only hope that now I can take all of the things I learned today to heart.

We often learn from others...and I would like to learn from you.  What are your best tips and tricks for controlling your tempers and staying calm in the face of angers and frustrations? Especially when those angers and frustrations come from your children who you want to teach the same thing too.

**incidentally, there are reasons I am not identifying which child I am talking about.  I am sure you can relate, but I have had incidents where my children were told of discussions that I had had with other adults and they were very hurt by the fact that I had discussed it with others.  I see no reason why anyone needs to know which child is which, but the scenario itself is evident of what happened for me this morning and I feel like it conveys my hopes much better than without it. I love my children, all of them, which all of my heart and am so proud of them each and every day. And I hope that this does not in anyway make you feel like that is not the case. They are amazing human beings that I cannot wait to see how the world is blessed by them in the future.

John 5:30: "I can of mine own self do nothing"