Dreams

I have always thought that dreams can be REALLY weird. Most of mine dreams are really weird. Every once in a while I will have a deeply profound dream, but usually, they are just weird...

When I was little, I had this weird re-curring dream. I don't know where it came from, what it meant, or if I have ever told my brother Steve about it (he was the co-star of the dream.)  Anyway, so in this dream, Steve and I were running away from two bad guys. They were chasing us and they had weapons and they wanted to hurt us. We were running down this street and came to what I assumed was our house, I don't know whether it was or not)  But it would have been our house on Kilpatrick (I know, you have no clue where that is, and that is perfectly fine--it was the house I lived in til I was about 3)  Anyway, we ran up to the door and Steve told me to hide in between the screen and the door. I hid, the men came up and Steve got hurt. Then I came out and woke up...I don't know how badly Steve had been hurt, but he was hurt saving me...I always thought it was really sad that Steve got hurt, but how cool to know that my big brother would protect me...

And I have to say, when it really mattered, my big brothers were always willing to protect me. When I was 6 and in first grade, I developed appendicitis and spent a week in the hospital in surgery and recovery. Even if my brothers picked on me every other day of my life, I knew then that they really did love me!  They brought me a little white bear up to the hospital one day...I still have it. I don't have the heart to get rid of it...though the kids have kind of taken ownership of it...Anyway, that dream taught me that no matter what happened every day of the year, when it really mattered and I really needed them, they would be there...

Sorry Steve that you got hurt in my dream...I don't know why it was you that got hurt...

Anyway, so last night I have this weird dream. It is something that I cannot even imagine on my own. I don't know where it came from, but it was weird, regardless. So I came down a flight of stairs to find my mom laying in a bed. I have no clue where this was and what was going on. But I looked down at my mom and said to her "Mom, I thought you were gone."  She looked at me and in her very weak voice she said, no sweet heart not yet. I told her that I would never have left if I knew that she was still there. So I laid down on the bed next to her and we just laid there, just me and mom. I got up at some point and went to an adjoining kitchen where Michelle was. I kept asking her if we should call my brothers and she kept saying no, they'd be her if they could. So I went back and laid down with mom until she died...I went to Michelle and told her we needed to call everyone, and she said no. I didn't understand why she was telling me we couldn't call everyone. But I had laid with my mom in her final moments. Then she was gone and her body just laid on the bed. Then I woke up.

See weird...what does that even mean. Mom died almost 5 years ago and it certainly wasn't just me with her, she was surrounded so many of those who love her. And it was certainly a time that none of us would have missed for anything. So what does the dream mean...weird...that's what it was...

But it did give me another glimpse of my mom.  Obviously, I don't get to see her anymore. And it is heartbreaking sometimes. But man, these little weird dreams I could do with more of. It is great to be able to 'see' her, even if it is only a dream. It makes me think about her beautiful face and her sweet smile. I treasure my memories with mom and periodically, maybe I will be able to treasure these dreams, weird or not, they give me a glimpse at the beautiful face one more time.

So here is to dreams. The good, the bad, the weird and the lessons that periodically we get to learn and gain from our dreams.